Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Its year 2041, and president Hunter Biden has ordered every republican who sweared at him to be arrested and shot. I am on my way to the death row listening to the cheer of the Liberal mob chanting death death death. How can I escape?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I am interested in gang stalking tactics. How do covert agents use street theater and false narratives to torment targeted individuals?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Can Donald Trump use the Alien Friends Act of 1798 to give ALL illegal immigrants an ultimatum: You have 1 month to leave America, after which you will be arrested and jailed for 3 years?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why do men think all women are the same?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I see through liars

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why is only the left side of my vagina bleeding, on and off?

I can read

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Have you ever seen your wife being fucked?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What is the most heartbreaking or sad love story that you ever had (experienced)?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can count

11 confirmed dead after flooding, identities of three victims released - WOAI

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Are there any more 'nun' jokes?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Consumer sentiment swings sharply higher in June as tariff anxiety recedes - Axios

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Fans don't appear to be snatching up tickets to the Club World Cup - KING5.com

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why is the covert narcissist actively avoiding me when they see me everyday?

I have complete contempt for fakery

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why do some men like anal sex?

I actually pay taxes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity